Small things to a giant

Don’t worry about the small things, remember they don’t call them small for nothing. Life is too short to stress about situations and circumstances that you have no controll over. Lately ive found myself in a place where I had to take what was given to me and just lean back with it and roll. Remember that you always have much bigger things on your plate that require your attention. Some problems in life just weren’t ment to be solved, these kinda problems fall under the lifes lessons catalog. So don’t let a small hurdle take your eyes off what’s your true prize in life and your true ambitions. Trust me you will live longer and more contently when you just let some things be what they are and keep it pushing. So today take a deep breath, woo sigh it off, and learn to pick and choose your battles

Dreaming about it

I’m still day dreaming about love. So many things about me have matured and changed but I’m still day dreaming about love. Not just any kinda love, real love, true love without conditions. A love that has ups and downs but is worth while, something that I have to work for and then continue to work on to make it grow and flurish. I wanna cook hot meals in the evening, exchange gifts on Christmas, meet parents, take long summer vacations together, fuss when he eats shit that’s bad for him,argue when appropriate, steal his covers at night, cuddle with him when its cold outside, and all the things that come with a real true union bulit on love, trust, and even exchange of emotions. I’m still day dreaming about love but I’m grown enough to know the recipe consists of more then the sweet things and good times I day dream about. So here I am still single, still waiting, still dreaming.

Soulkimchee wears combat boots

So I guess your wondering what happened to me? Soulkim done went and joined the us army! That’s right folks, I’m no longer a civilian anymore. I’m a m16 packing, uniform wearing, doing push ups in the rain in the winter time GI Jane. After years of dead end jobs due to a poverity stricken family, f’ed up economy, and a GED I finally decided I’ve had enough of the check to check lifestyle. I signed on the dotted line to make a commitment to yall to protect this country in exchange for a life of structure, discipline, and ofcorse money to go to college. Are you proud of me or do you question me for making a foolish decision when I had many other options in front of me to go to school? Let me just put this on your mind for a second, I’ve never been a taker, I’ve always lived my life as a hard worker or a giver. I fully understand that help is out there and never will I knock those who choose to seek it, I wanted yo be stable as well as educated. I wanted to give back as well as receive. I’m proud of what I do for a living and I don’t regret any decision that I’ve made in life especially not the day I signed my contract. Ill be deploying in febuary and I still have yet to regret. Surprise! Ms soulkimchee wears combat boots!

My president is black!

A day that very few could imagine, invision, or foresee has finally came to pass. My president is black, my president has made it possisble for me to put up a poster in my sons and daughters room and actually say you can do more then play ball to make your mark in this country. I’m extra proud to be blessed with the African American roots of my father today. Now that we have made this dream become an actual reality the only thing we can do is sit back and believe that the man we placed in office will live up to all he has promised to the joes and janes who supported him. Today we made history, though tommrow is uncertain I look foward to all it brings. Don’t you?

Im back baby!

Its been so long since I blogged here I forgot the damn password. I know its been awhile since ice came here and shared my thoughts, cut lose, and brought feelings to the light. But I’m here now and I’m back.

Gravy Ladle

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than meets the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates.”About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?” Brian said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure.”So he sat down and wrote:”Dear Mother, I’m not saying that you “did” take the gravy ladle from the house, I’m not saying that you “did not” take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that Stephanie’s has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, BrianSeveral days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read:”Dear Son, I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Stephanie, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom”

From catapillar, to cacoon, to butterfly

Im not a butterfly, not yet. I once was a catapillar, struggleing & searching everyday for a way to eat, hideing in the shadows from preadtors. I didnt realize my full potential because all I knew was how to make it, how to live to eat for the next day. Here I am now, only to realize that Im no longer crawling on my belly, no longer in fear to live. I dont struggle to eat because Ive finally come to a point where Ive had my fill. Im safe in my cacoon, warm and calm. I can feel myself grow, change, aspire. BUT! Someday I will break free of my comfert zone, someday I’ll be something more. Someday I’ll be a butterfly.

When that day comes i’ll finally be what I was destined to be STRONG, BEAUTIFUL, FEARLESS, FREE.

a butterfly

Star child

Star child

 

Open wide oh moonlight,

take me to a place where few can see your softest glow.

Fly, Float, me sweetly, for I am your starchild,

A blessing to pitch black skies.

 

Take me slow in absolution, introduce me to a home of  bliss.

Though I come to you tarnished & tatterd my innner chid still purely exsists.

Shine on me oh moonlight guide me through with your somber glows.

For I am your your lonely starchild, who needs directions for where to go.

 

First draft. wha chu think?

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I added a neat little link to my side bar,  you can now get emails sent to you when I update my blog.  Big thanks to Jay for directing me to the site that made it possiable.

Expectations

I nonchalantly lit my Newport as I stepped out into the cold. The back of the building where my fellow coworkers smoked and huddled amongst each other seemed almost empty and quiet as I fumbled through my purse for my nokia phone. It was always hard for me to call him like this, talking to him during the after maths of our heated argument’s always made me feel like little girl. He kept a cool head and smooth domineer at all times….

Letters to god

written by 8 -10 year olds

Soft, Slow, and Easy

I just want to be his princess, I just want him to kiss me caress me, love me gentle, and slow. I know I can be rough around the edges but when Im with my man I want him to treat me like Im soft and fragile. Not helpless, but fragile…

Murphy’s Laws

 

1. Nothing is as easy as it looks.

1. Everything takes longer than you think.
2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
3. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
4. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
5. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
6. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
7. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
8. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
9. Mother nature is a bitch.
10. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
11. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
12. Every solution breeds new problems.

Funny how whatever you’ve got planned never quite seems to end up the way you thought it would. Some of my best intentions have gone up in smoke in ways so unexpected I often take moments to marvel at mi vida loca. The memo that I didn’t know everything must have got lost somewhere in between the memo that I never will know everything and the other memo about how complicated this journey was going to be SMH.

Busy as a bee

I’m taking a short break from blogging due to a serious lack of time to actually sit down and write properly. I can assure you that I’ll be back soon. Be patient, I have so much on my mind and no place to vent, so many changes have happened for the better I actually feel blessed to be so fortunate. I miss blogging but if I do something I want to do it right.  BRB 

With an option to buy

Why sell yourself short if you dont have to? Though there is nothing wrong with moving in with a person before the knot is tied, I often wonder what some peoples motives really are behind this decision. I find that boyz, not men but boyz, think that moving in with a woman is like renting a wife with the option to buy.

Who is Banksy?

I searched the internet for hours last night like an obsessed ex girlfriend after a bad break up for more info on Banksy.  Does anybody know anything about him? If you do please drop me an email and enlighten me on some more info on the artists. Im actually thinking of getting the girl with the red balloon tatted somewhere on me.

Plugin art

I was browseing the internet and I came across an artist named Banksy. I instantlly feel in love with him when I saw his work. I read somewhere hes going to sell some soon. I followed a link to his site and saw some of his outdoor work 

This is my Fav one I think its beautiful.

Shyne & Hip Hop

Ever since I got off the phone with my homeboy Shyne last night, Ive been needing to address some things that’s been weighing heavy on my mind . First things first though some background on the nature of our relationship.

Shyne is an up and coming producer from NC. I met him during a time when he was transitioning from the military service to musician. When Shyne moved back to NC I assumed that would be the end of ”us” but to my surprise we’ve keep up a very warm friendship via telephone and myspace. He talks to me about his woes of trying to come up and be recognized, I sympathize and give him honest opinions about his music. Hip Hop is what brought us together intinally. The way we met, dated, and then parted ways is a really good story but today I actually have something else I want to blog about.

 Last night Shyne expressed his reasoning for why majority of the east coast claims that hip hop is dead. Some how this fool got it in his mind that east coast rappers are full of envy and hate because they haven’t really blown up in a big way since the days of Biggie and Tupac. His actual statement was :

Shyne: They’re just all mad because the south is making money, blowing up on MTV, and they aren’t eating so they made up the myth that hip hop is dead to use as an excuse for their failure to keep up with us.

Me: Come again Shyne? QUE?

(?)

Had to resize the pic but if you look closely shes smoking a ciggeret. Bleh!

Afraid

Willy Wonka:

 There’s no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going / There’s no knowing where we’re rowing / Or which way the river’s flowing / Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing? / Not a speck of light is showing / So the danger must be growing / Are the fires of hell a-glowing? / Is the grisly reaper mowing? / Yes, the danger must be growing / ‘Cause the rowers keep on rowing / And they’re certainly not showing / Any signs that they are slowing!

The unknown is a very scary place to venture out to when you’re alone. Ive been on my own for so long I hardly notice when a helping hand is stretched out to me. Pride makes it hard for me to even ask for help when I need it. I’m convinced that this habit was passed down to me by Ms Chong who has always been a very independent and stern woman figure in my lyfe. I woke up this morning afraid and worried about some personal matters that need addressing. Ever since I decided to do this personality over haul Ive noticed people in my lyfe dropping out like flies at a Raid convention. I step back to see if anything in my lyfe has changed due to their absence and to my surprise I find only the negative things are gone. My cifer grows small folks and to say Im not sad would be a lie. How they’ve influenced me whether it be negative or positive is still apart of my lyfe, my history, and I want to grow with people instead of out growing them. I realize some of us cant be because my current is moving swiftly while others are just stagnant. I never wanted to be that girl who came up out of poverty or hard times and just left all the people who were there with me through it by the wayside. I want to keep it real but being real comes with a price of slow progress.  That price is something I just don’t have the luxury to pay anymore. I’m getting older now and youth is no longer an excuse for delayed progress. As I venture out into the unknown parts of me I sometimes fear I will actually lose my idenity in the shuffle. Is it possible that new people can accept me and my past w/o passing judgement? Can I keep my old friends if my lyfe style changes dramatically for the better? So what do I do now? Meeting a new group of friends is an option, but how? I’m still kinda rough around the edges and I find that people who have currents alike from mine aren’t open to some of these rough ridges.  As I continue to row my boat against the current to discover a new one I pray for understanding from this new land of a better me. Yes, I’m strong and stern like my mother but I’m also unafraid to admit that Im scared to see where this will all take me.